It's usually not good to compare. You don't want to compare your kids to others (ie. my kid walked at 9 months...and your's at 15 months...so mine is clearly going to be an olympic runner). You dont's want to compare yourself to others either. I've been thinking a lot about my unhealthy self-talk. On a daily basis, my thought go something like this:
- I'm a failure at homeschooling because we didn't do any cute crafts today and I didn't do any great read-a-louds. All we accomplished was math and 2 puppy baths (that was Wednesday last week. The first bath was planned. The second was because she stepped in her own poop.) I wish I was a better teacher like...
- I'm a bad friend. I hardly have time to brush my hair and put on some makeu-up, so finding time to email or call friends is difficult. I wish I was a better friend like....
- I'm not as fit as I should be. If I was more consistent with my fitness, I'd be thinner and have less back pain. I should look like...
- I used to be a good blogger, but then I let my blog lapse and it was hard to pick back up. In trying to make a go of it again, I worked on the same post 3 different days last week and it's still not published. I'm not a good blogger like...
I could go on...but I won't. I shouldn't compare myself like that. No one should. It's not healthy. Yet somehow I know that it's a trap women fall into so easy (men might make this mistake too, but I'm not one and I can't speak for them). So, when you're feeling inadequate how do you refocus? I've got some thoughts, but I'll save those for another post. I know I'm not alone in the comparison trap, so what do you do? And I'll try to come back soon with a Refocus post.
*****
This is one time when it's ok to compare though...
On the left: December 3o, 2011 :: On the right: January 29, 2012
Look how much my baby has grown in a month! I scaled the images in photoshop so that the balls are the same size. Yes, one is pink and one is purple, but they're from the same set. Like this, it is good to compare yourself, not against others, but over time to observe growth. Just something to think about.
Pink and purple are good. So are puppy pictures!
I think it's in our estrogen or something. I had a brutal time being a good friend to myself this past week. I had this dress that was my goal for my weight loss. I tried it on over the summer, a few pounds from goal. It was a VERY tight fit, so I didn't try it on again after I got to goal.
It's hard for me even to share the story without beating myself up. Surely almost any other woman would have tried the dress on in the 6 months between hitting goal and the gala, right? Hem.
Anyway, I found a new, totally awesome, no alterations required dress at Talbot's on serious sale Friday afternoon. Maybe I'll take the goal dress to the tailor when I take a pile of other skirts and dresses later this month...
Posted by: Channon | 02/06/2012 at 07:41 AM
My little girl is making sure this dog gets plenty of girly colors. Shes got a pink leash right now. Weve got pink tennis balls too. The wiffle balls are Rachels.
I do hope the dress was too big. Cant wait to see you in the new dress. I think not trying it on has more to do with you still realizing your new size. In your head...you hadnt changed that much.
Part of me blogging again is about me being good to myself. I guess Im looking for my own Chansformation this year. ;0) km
Posted by: KM | 02/06/2012 at 10:04 AM
But see, if you were like all these other people, you wouldn't be you. And if you weren't you, that would be a complete shame.
I'm so glad you are blogging again... It makes me happy to read your words and see your pictures. :)
Posted by: Sarah | 02/06/2012 at 11:48 AM
love the puppy pictures and I don't have an answer for the comparisions. I've been doing it myself this week about my 'size'. Need to stop talking so horribly to myself. I would never talk to a friend that way. g
Posted by: gMarie | 03/29/2012 at 09:08 PM
That puppy is adorable! We have always wanted one but it's never seemed like the right time or circumstance.
I think we are hard-wired to compare. A little might be good, for motivation but too much beats you down!
Let it go! And read what Sarah said again and again.
Posted by: Elizabeth | 04/15/2012 at 04:27 AM
observing growth is an awesome goal!!!
Be nice to you.
Posted by: kathy b | 04/26/2012 at 07:22 AM
Oh, I like what gMarie said. I would never talk to a friend that way. So true!
I can totally relate to your battle with negative self-talk. I'm learning to be nicer to myself. And that's a very good thing!
Posted by: Karen@SurvivingMotherhood | 05/05/2012 at 10:38 AM